Choices and Failure

March 3, 2012


First, I have to think about what failure means to me. It isn’t always an opportunity. Sometimes it is just a mistake or misstep, or misstatement. Sometimes it is just a failure.

Sometimes I do it wrong. I think about something wrong. What do I mean by that?

I forget to feel and think and act instead–impulsively. Doing something is better than just sitting here worrying or wondering.  And that is my failure to sit quietly with my self and experience all the feelings and think all the thoughts about what is bothering me. When I don’t do that, I fail to pay attention, then I miss myself and all I can learn from myself.

Ok, then, when I fail, if I am paying attention, or rather, when I DO pay attention, then I can try again. Begin again.

I see.

I like failures in concept only. I would rather not make a mistake, and hence I will procrastinate beyond reason to prevent a failure.

I do have choices here. I can chose to do the same things over and over hoping this time I get it right or I can stop. Listen. Chose to listen to myself, think and learn from my past mistakes.

My failures.

I would rather look at each failure as my adventure that dead-ended in the maze of life and I will turn around and around until I find a path and take that one as far as I can until I get somewhere or deadend myself again.

As far as intelligently is concerned, I think that is a crock of sheeiit.

Perhaps I’d like to unlax and stop trying so hard. Have more fun and then I may learn even more from my failures.

Yeah, I’d like to do that.